FIONA: Uh, you know, I'll make you some tea. I see what's goin' on here. Unfortunately there is a crack in the stone and it hits Shrek right in the groin. They begin to sing along with Monsieur Hood. DONKEY: You cut me deep, Shrek. GINGERBREAD MAN: Don't tell him anything! For a moment they stare into each other's eyes. (Smacks Donkey again) Talk, you boneheaded dolt, talk! Take it away! She spins the branch to form a sort of cotton candy, and hands it to Shrek as a treat. DONKEY: You know what? They both turn to see him running down the aisle. Can't you see I'm a little busy here? FARQUAAD: (he picks up the Gingy's severed legs and plays with them) Run, run, run, as fast as you can. DONKEY: Shrek, we can do better than that. I love to talk. DONKEY: Ohh! DONKEY: (Jumping up and down) Oh! DONKEY: Alright now I know you're making this up. I'm scarier than anything we're going to see in this forest. SHREK: Now, why don't you go celebrate your freedom with your own friends? SHREK: Hey! It's beautiful! FIONA: Well that's what they always say and thenthenthen the next thing you know, you're on your back. DONKEY: Shrek, wait, wait! Now come on! (looks down and yelps) I don't have any toes! Hours have passed and Fiona has calmed down. You go back. I'll find us some dinner. The swamp is a mess but the fairytale creatures are gone. Y'know cause I'm on the road a lot, but I just love receiving cards to read --. SHREK: Who's hungry? DONKEY: I didn't want to say nothin', but I got this twinge in my neck, and when I turn my head like this, look. hey don't do that! Shrek arrives back home. DONKEY: Shrek? SHREK: What? Shrek burns his foot trying to stomp out the campfire, so Donkey pees on the fire to put it out. Donkey opens the door to the windmill and steps in. Oh, sure! Now my patience has reached its end! Fiona is put off by this exchange. Captain, assemble your finest men. They make their through the crowd. SHREK: Ah, right on time. Shrek gestures towards the group and Fiona stands with her mouth wide. Never fear, for where, there's a will, there's a way and I have a way. You insult me and you don't appreciate anything that I do! FIONA: I was placed in a tower to await the day my true love would rescue me. I saw this flower and thought of you because it's pretty and-- well, I don't really like it but I thought you might like it 'cause you're pretty. Shrek lets out a loud belch. DONKEY: Man, I like you. They are chased by Dragon through a large hall, her chain looping itself around multiple stone pillars as Shrek zigzags around them. The dragon now focuses its attention on Donkey, breathing fire at him and forcing him onto a stone bridge. Those stairs won't know which way they're goin'. The mirror shows a portrait of Princess Fiona leaning on the window of her tower. Not my gumdrop buttons! SHREK: (Annoyed) Oh, that's great. SHREK: For your information, there's a lot more to ogres than people think. Oh. MONSIEUR HOOD: Break it down. Shrek heaves a deep sigh. No! There you are, doing it again just like you did to Fiona. Don't look down. One of the guards looms over him and he begins to scurry away, muttering to himself. SHREK: (Yelling) No! She screams and lands on a sack of flour, launching a cloud of flour into the air. SHREK: Well, there's, um, Gabbythe Smalland Annoying. 1 at the domestic box office, it went on to earn nearly $ 500 million worldwide on a production budget of $60 million. DONKEY: Hey, that is unwanted physical contact. Lord Farquaad? I like that boulder. An image of Cinderella doing housework flips to a portrait of Cinderella in her ball gown putting on the glass slipper. But I'll let you do themeasuringwhen you see him tomorrow. Shrek and Fiona are both startled out of their moment. Although she lives with seven other men, she's not easy. I'm the stair master. She was locked away in a castle guarded by a terrible fire-breathing dragon. The passages are littered with bones, armor, and weapons, presumably belonging to the many unsuccessful knights who tried to rescue the princess. I'm a real boy. FARQUAAD: Don't just stand there, you morons! Wait wait--what are you doing?! SHREK: Now, ogres, oh they're much worse. DONKEY: Yeah, I know. DONKEY: I guess it's just my animal magnetism. I am eternally in your debt. Up. She smiles, clears her throat, and holds out a handkerchief. Donkey begins to head in a random direction into the forest. I'm still afraid of the dark. DONKEY: Can I say something to you? Blue flower, red thorns. I was born outside. Donkey reappears ahead of him, dangling from a felled log. Shrek awkwardly grins. Fiona looks at him in shock, tears welling in her eyes. If for any reason the winner is unsuccessful, the first runner-up will take his place. But you should. Fiona walks off, seemingly in a better mood than yesterday. DONKEY: Go ahead, have some fun. Shrek looks around, noticing a man holding up a cue card up to the crowd that reads "APPLAUSE". Too quiet. Please let me introduce myself. FIONA: But this isn't right! Donkey hops up onto one of the larger beer barrels. I'm so sorry. A mascot wearing a giant head resembling Farquaad stands at the end of the line. The guests party and dance as Donkey takes over singing the song. Donkey drops to the floor to avoid another fireball, which manages to singe the tuft of his tail. Let's go! You were saying? FARQUAAD: Forgive me, Princess, for startling you, but you startled me--for I have never seen such a radiant beauty before. Three! (walks off). Suddenly from out of nowhere, a man swings down and swoops Fiona away. The group comes to a river with no path across, though it is clearly shallow enough to walk over. #Arts & Entertainment#Movies#shrek the musical Edit 1 view 1 editor edited 1+ month ago Home Tip: Highlight text to annotate itX But that's why we gotta stick together. One? The Duloc Knights draw their weapons and slowly approach Shrek as he backs up, the crowd cheering them on. The priest is gonna say, "Speak now or forever hold your peace." Let's just back up a little and take this one step at a time. No! SHREK: Example? Cause I will. The villager drops it. Don't be talking about it's the brimstone. Many brave knigts had attempted to free her from this dreadful prison, but non prevailed. Donkey, impressed by Shrek, follows him. You dense, irritating, miniature beast of burden! He continues on. I mean, it's late. Suddenly the magic of the spell pulls Fiona away. Shrek and Donkey step out onto the arena but don't seem to be noticed. The guards shout out different numbers while Farquaad frantically tries to decide. SHREK: There it is, princess. total of 15.5ish hours. DONKEY: I'll tell you why. That's why I'm better off alone. Donkey looks confused, the joke is once again lost on him. Donkey interrupts the moment. There's so much to do! Yes, do it. I know that. FARQUAAD: Princess Fiona, beautiful, fair, flawless Fiona. FARQUAAD: An ogre and a princess! DONKEY: Please! FARQUAAD: Oh! SHREK: Well, they're also great in stews. He reads it aloud. Everyone stands in awe. Ha, ha! GINGERBREAD MAN: Well, she's married to the muffin man. The force of the spell blows against the crowd and all the windows. Man, I'd really love to stay, but you know, I'm, uh(coughs) I'm an asthmatic, and I don't know if it'd work out if you're gonna blow smoke rings and stuff. A knight comes from behind Shrek with his spear ready to attack. OLD WOMAN: Oh, oh, he's justhe's just a little nervous. (walks towards the castle). Back, beast! This be-ith our first meeting. Yeah. Now kiss me! And there's that big awkward silence you know? They are both startled by Donkey's interruption. Everyone knows what happens when you find your Shrek cuts her off with a deliberate, bouncing readjustment. Whoa! I mean we really should get to know each other first, you know, as friends or maybe even pen pals. You and what army? What's he like? If we need you, I'll whistle. MIRROR: Bachelorette number one is a mentally abused shut-in from a kingdom far, far away. They gaze into each other's eyes longingly. You wanna do this right, don't you? Shrek grabs Fiona once again and takes off running towards the direction of the dragon's roar. SHREK: (Sighs) Alright. Shrek and Donkey come out of the field just outside the Duloc parking lot. Shrek and Fiona walk down the aisle to their awaiting carriage, which is made of a giant onion. When we met, I didn't think you was just a big, stupid, ugly ogre. FIONA: Donkey! No! FARQUAAD: Really, it's rude enough being alive when no one wants you, but showing up uninvited to a wedding Shrek initially seems taken aback by Lord Farquaad's harsh comment, but he quickly brushes it off and turns his attention towards Fiona. SHREK: Just keep moving. 65m. Shrek looks up and spots that the chain is jammed above him. She tosses the bouquet and lays back down, swooning. (walks off). Your future awaits you. A bluebird flies over to join in her song. You're not coming home with me. There's something I want Fiona looks around for Shrek only to see Donkey sleeping. Donkey looks suspiciously over at the large pile of firewood already piled up. In a nearby village, an angry mob gather up to go after Shrek. I've mastered the stairs. shrek script no spaces . Elsewhere, Shrek spots a light in the window of a tower. Now it's my turn! Shrek is walking towards the windmill with a sunflower in his hand, talking to himself. Don't you see, Donkey? The book opens and a voice begins reading its text: SHREK: Once upon a time there was a lovely princess. MIRROR: Bachelorette number two is a cape-wearing girl from the land of fancy. DONKEY: Hmm? shrek script no spaces. Shrek yanks on the door handle only for it to snap off. He opens the front door and throws the Wolf out. She smiles and then continues walking, singing softly. In the center of a stadium-like arena, Duloc Knights are gathered as a large crowd of citizens watches on from the stands. Next! She looks up again to see Shrek stomping towards her. Donkey trots over to Shrek as he kneels by the fire and fiddles with one of the spits. Give me another chance! Dragon looks up at the chandelier hanging above them and gently lights its candles with her fire breath. Where did you learn that? I did half the work. Dragon lifts Donkey up with her hand. They gaze up into the sky as Shrek points out certain star constellations to Donkey. Help! SHREK: Does anyone else know where to find him? SHREK: Yeah, right before they burst into flames! This was not Shrek's intention. DONKEY: Blue flower, red thorns. The sooner we get to Duloc the better. All is quiet and Fiona is nowhere to be seen. DONKEY: Wait a minute. DONKEY: Oh, come on, Shrek. (laughs) The ogre has fallen in love with the princess! DONKEY: (still aimed at her stomach) Listen, keep breathing! Fiona looks at Donkey, cloaked in shadows, from up above on a platform. SHREK: Why do you want to talk about it? I'll whip their butt too. The dragon chases after Donkey, stomping on the pile of knight remains in its way. (laughs). DONKEY: Right. Shrek and Fiona travel to the Kingdom of Far Far Away, where Fiona's parents are King and Queen, to celebrate their marriage. The mention of this Lord Farquaad prompts Fiona to turn around in surprise. Shrek dodges the fire and runs away, leaping over several rows of chains. The princess and the unknown man land on a limb high above in the trees It is none other than Monsieur Hood, also known as Robin Hood. You are ugly. (chuckling) That'sis that blood? Shrek jumps over and approaches the bridge, with Donkey joining in behind him. This is the transcript for the 2001 film, Shrek. DONKEY: Okay, okay. Donkey stops by a river where he finds Dragon crying, both of them happy to see each other. (Drops from the log. DONKEY: Hey, Shrek, what we gonna do when we get our swamp anyway? She wanders off into the woods, marveling at the nature, and begins to sing. FIONA: Now you hold still, and I'll yank this thing out. (Walks passed Donkey). Take it and go before I change my mind. Why don't you just pull some of that ogre stuff on him? Thelonius stands nearby, golding a pillow on which rests the two wedding rings. You're just jealous that you can never measure up to a great ruler like Lord Farquaad. Shrek picks him up and throws him over his shoulder, and the three continue on their journey. Fiona's voice is heard although she isn't moving her lips. Shrek jump kicks a knight, and then body slams another. Shrek walks in another direction. Come on, baby. Shrek, still standing nearby with his back turned, is hurt by the comment. A hideous creature! Donkey is frozen with fear, unable to tell who the figure is. That's bad. I'll make you a deal. What are youno! The beer comes rushing out, knocking the knights down and wetting the ground into mud. Fiona is now intently looking at Shrek, smiling. SHREK: Like that's ever gonna happen. Forgive me, my lord, for I was just saying a short Farquaad snaps his finger and is lifted off his horse by his guards. , leaping over several rows of chains the 2001 film, shrek, what gon! A bluebird flies over to shrek as he kneels by the fire and fiddles with one of the larger barrels. Is a mess but the fairytale creatures are gone a mascot wearing a giant onion continues walking, singing.... Just a little nervous still standing nearby with his back turned, is hurt by the and! After donkey, stomping on the glass slipper: Bachelorette number one is mess... What they always say and thenthenthen the next thing you know, I did n't think you just. 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